What the Hell Has Happened to Separation of Church and State?

Wow - I'm sure I'll get a rise out of a lot of folks with this one. Sorry, it cannot fester any longer.

While living in Arkansas, I kind of relented to my liberal upbringing. We had our lovely governor leading the state in prayer. I was confused. But yet, I understood. The things that southerners know are BBQ, Fried Foods, and Jeezus. More power to them. Personally, I am not an organized-religion fan. A lot of these fundamental Christians border on the cult-standard. I'm always looking for the next David Koresh. I mean, true Christianity, you are supposed to love your neighbor. Not hate them. Oh! And the biggest one that really gets to me is..."do not judge lest ye be judged". Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. That's all I am saying about that one.

So, I relented that S.O.C.A.S. is null and void in Arkansas. That's fine. It's the south - EVERYTHING'S backwards...and slow. Listen to me talk nowadays - you'll know that it's slow :)

But imagine my shock when I move back home - sigh - finally back in Liberalland. And I find out that prayer and religion is trying to find its way back into public schools. Come again? Religion=Public Schools. Now there's an oxymoron, if I have ever heard of one. WTF? Parents, if it is so neccessary that your child cannot live without praising Jesus for the what? 7 hours a day that they are in school - send them to a parochial school of some sort. Look what a good job they did on me ;)

I Need a Mind Break

All of this studying of genetics is really bogging me down this morning...so here's a rambling post...but what else is new?

Had my Midterm Conference yesterday afternoon, which was surreal. I was told I had the potential to be an amazing writer one day, I had the creativity which cannot be taught, but I needed to start thinking. What a concept. I thought I was in college to daydream. Muah. My real problem with writing - and I don't know if it is a PROBLEM per se, but totally an issue. I have a very creative mind that about a dozen miles a minute, with dozens of things going on up there at one time. ADD - no. I'm too lazy for that. Bipolar - hmm...quite a possibility. I think I'm just nuts...seriously.

I was reading the Illinois Times online this morning, and I came across the fact that our dear Governor wants to change the age limit for tatoos from 18 to 21. Hmm...that's what we need a bunch of drunk kids going out to get their 1st tats on their 21st birthday. I hope you don't think that I'm anti-tatoo...I'm not. I have a lovely music note anklet on my right ankle...I love it. Yeah, painful...but very "me". My next endeavor will be either a shamrock or a celtic cross on my back. Yes, Dr. Zoom - feel free to comment on that one :)

Granted, I have not lived in Illinois for nearly 9 years now, but I just find it funny that Rod B. only decides to actually do things for the state when it's election year. Is it just me?

Hell, I seriously have no idea what I'm saying...back to genetics...

Slap me...please!!

Surprise...surprise...

As I mentioned in a previous "Abortion" post...Harriet Miers was being scrutinized for the abortion issue.

Well, let it be known that she was against abortion in 89...the only way she would be for it was if it endangered the life of a mother.

Gee...I'll bet she never talked to Junior about this...

BTW...did anyone catch that picture of she & Junior in Newsweek a couple of weeks ago? Reminds me of a certain intern & a certain former president...hmmm...

Sleep Deprivation

I recently studied that it can kill you. But is a little s.d. all that bad?

Personally, the past two weeks I get, oh, about a good 3-4 hours sleep a night. But then I usually take a 2 hour *siesta*...if I'm lucky. If I'm not...and I need to do something that evening...like say...THINK...I'll take a sudafed, or something.

Is this wrong? Really, it keeps me more focused. That may sound completely crazy. But it does.

So, yes...please forgive me for these inane postings as of late - I don't think my brain is completely functioning...but one day...it will again.

I'll Get Killed for This Posting

I was having an in-depth conversation with my father last night, and I truly believe that this is an issue that is completely side-stepped around nowdays.

What has happened to people living in the "real world"? I know this person, and like me, he has stolen, lied to, been arrested for heinous (well, not heinous, really...but stupid) things done to not only strangers, but people who are close to them...friends, family, whatever. But there is one huge difference between us. I have taken responsibility for my actions. I have apologized for my actions. I do not make excuses for what I have done. All I can say is that I was a completely different person at the time that I did these things (the last time being 8 years ago).

This person walks around as if the world revolves around him, and isn't even humble around people that he has hurt. He's hugely egotistical, spiteful, and I am hurt because of this. I want to forgive him for the things that he has done to people that I consider to be my friends. But if you don't ask for forgiveness, how is one supposed to forgive you? He is not living in the real world.

People place all of their faith in God. Which I do not dispute at all. But if you believe in God, then you also should believe that He gave us the ability to make our own decisions in life, and we must take responsibility for those actions. If we do not make the right decisions, then it is our responsibility to do all that we can as mortals to make up for those transgressions. Get a fucking job, stop living in a fantasy land where your entire life revolves around theater, music, and movies. Faith is a good thing, yes. But you cannot just say "I don't have enough money to pay for this bill, but JEEZUS will take care of this for me". That is not acceptable.

Faith is a great thing, but you need to be humble, and get your ass in gear to become a productive member of society. Keeping your ego in check is a good thing.

Yes I'm Still Alive

Nothing new to really talk about...sooo...

Let's talk about Karma.

Without going into great detail, I learned a great life experience on Wednesday. What goes around comes around, in full circle.

Thats all for today, kids!!

A Day in the Life as a Backstage Dresser

*Disclaimer - this was written on Sunday night - my how things change in a day*

I love theater...I really, really do. Maybe if I keep telling myself, I will believe it :)

I began performing onstage in Springfield, Illinois at the tender age of 10. As a puppet in a acid-induced production of "Pinocchio" at the Springfield Theatre Centre. Let me backtrack 3 months before then. I may have already posted this story, but what the hell - like I'm going to lose the 2 readers of this blog that I already have.

I come from an extreme musical family. I started violin lessons at age 4. My sister is the musical genius - plays more musical instruments (and plays them well, unlike me) than should be humanly possible. We were brought up on Mozart and Jesus Christ Superstar, for pete's sake. While dad was on "vacation" from singing with the Symphony Chorus, he decided with the help of Teresa Radlinski, the choir director at our church, to audition for the Springfield Muni Opera's production of "Jesus Christ Superstar". He was cast, and I was bitten by the theater bug. I thought, hey this is something that I could possibly do well. I couldn't sing worth a damn, so what could it hurt?

That's the reader's digest version. So, a Drama Queen was offically born!

As a true theater junkie, I've done my fair share of working backstage. Dresser, props, sound, lights, set building, set crew...whatever. I'm not picky. But for the last 8 years I kind of got my head blown up by playing some very interesting roles in Arkansas....The Narrator in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Ruby Rae in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Maggie in The Shadow Box, Victoria in A Grand Night for Singing...just to name a few. So imagine my delight when I heard that Springfield Theatre Centre was going to put on Jekyll & Hyde. Wow. But we all knew who the leading lady was going to go to. I just assumed I'd be put in the chorus, since I would only have to miss a few weeks of rehearsal. So I put on my most suitable skirt & gold lame blouse...curled my hair up Texas-style...and belted out "Someone Else's Story" from Chess. Made one critical error. I forgot that Springfield doesn't see fat girls as leading ladies. Believe me, that's the last time I use a "touchy" song for an audition here ;)

Or maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe the reason why I wasn't cast is that I was just going to miss too much rehearsal. Because as good as the chorus is, I know I can go head-to-head with anyone of those women singing and acting. Sounds egotistical? Yeah, but I'm a friggin' thespian, what did you expect? I do have a diva attitude sometimes ;)

But I couldn't NOT work on that show in some capactiy. My father, whom I deeply admire and respect, was in the show. I hadn't been "in" a show with him since 1997. So when this guy asked me to be his dresser, I lept at the chance to be involved without having to move those massive set pieces.

So, here I was on Sunday afternoon...ready to go. Had my bravest game face on. Was prepared with a bowtie in one hand and a vest in the other. I was sooo prepared...time to show these people what kind of a uber-theater professional I have become...annnddd...

I friggin' crashed & burned. I hadn't adjusted the tie NOR the vest. Pfffttt...

The joys of live theater. What a professional I turned out to be.

Check This Out

Ok, I am sitting up here at my new job - working for the college that I am attending. I have 2 1/2 hours to kill, and I'm incessantly bored out of my mind. My significant other has disappeared this afternoon - damn him for actually having something to do tonight!! Anyway, so I'd thought I'd post this short essay that I wrote for Advanced Composition a little while ago. It's kind of crazy, but gets to the point. Isn't that the story of my life?


So, enjoy...if you dare...

Childrens' Literature

Portraying characters in childrens' literature as animals without a doubt increases the humor in "Olivia Saves the Circus" by Anne Schwartz. For example, one page has to do with cleaning the house. Since the characters are pigs, why does the kitchen have to include dishes piled up to the sink? This leaves one word in this reader's mind: Pigsty.

The classification of humor in this particular story is superiority. Adults are superior to children, as humans are superior to animals. This reminds me of the egocentric way that humans viewed the novel "Animal Farm" by George Orwell. The novel was on the banned book list for years, and it really hit a nerve with humans. How DARE this author even suggest that humans could be overthrown by something so weak and powerless as animals? Perhaps in a way, some sort of salvaging a sense of relief, though it is comic; is to cast characters in children's books as animals. it is much easier to laugh at animals, rather than to laugh at one's self.

Although the characters throughout this book were of swine nature, the majority of books for younger readers, the characters of children are portrayed as animals. Adults tend to believe that children are beneath us, as are animals. In previous years, children were of little value until they had grown; just like animals. By portraying the characters of children as animals, they are indirectly stating the aforementioned point.

Annnnddd...I'm done!

Ok...Time to Take It Down A Notch

For all of those living anywhere near to Springfield, Illinois - I beg of you to call for your tickets to the "wondermouse" production of "Jekyll & Hyde" at the Springfield Theatre Centre.

While I'm not actually IN the production (that's another posting altogether), I am the personal dresser for this guy http://drastrozoom.blogspot.com :)

And my FAVORITE liberal/communist in Springfield, Jim Leach, also makes an appearance. And my dad, Mr. Hep he ain't too shabby either.

Having said that, I attended a rehearsal last Sunday and can I say "OMG". While the leads are stunning, the biggest shock to me was the ensemble. These voices melt together like pure BUTTAH - I love it!

So, if you want to see the best community theater production that I've ever seen - ever - please c'mon down to the Hoog!

Illinois...Home of the Unoriginal Idea

Ok...now this is a great idea from the state of Illinois. To have every child covered by the state of Illinois under their own insurance plan. You'd think that by the news coverage, that this was an original idea.

Sorry to burst your bubble, my fellow Illinoisans. I don't know about other states, but when I moved from Springfield to Little Rock, Arkansas in 1998, the same plan had been in action for several years.

So, sorry, Illinois. This is a great idea, but sooo unoriginal.

Another Gem From Everyone's Favorite Prez

President Bush today said the fight against terrorism must continue in Iraq because that is where terrorists are centering their war on freedom. If U.S. forces withdraw from Iraq, Bush said, insurgents would "use the vacuum created by an American retreat to gain control of a country, a base from which to launch attacks and conduct their war against nonradical Muslim governments."
Hmmm...hmmm...you'd think there was controversy going on in the White House. WAIT!! Read my last blog...there is!!

I just find it undeniably unbelieveable that any time that Jr. finds himself in hot H20, that he goes off on this tangent about terrorism. Hmmm...terrorism. Like the way that the Hurricane Katrina victims were terrorized by the federal government by being deprived of the basic unit of life? WATER??

Terrorism. Terrorism. Maybe if our government would start fighting for our rights here in America, then perhaps the terrorists wouldn't give a hoot as to what the Americans do. Perhaps I'll be killed for saying this. But who cares. I don't have any kids yet. Perhaps if we as Americans weren't so stuck on ourselves, then we wouldn't be experiencing terrorism. We thought that nobody could touch us...nooooo...not America. Land of the free, and all of that bullshit. We got a good lesson though, didn't we.

And what did our fearless leader decide to do? Stick his nose in where it didn't belong. Yes, I was all for Afghanastan. YES - kill OBL! Please get rid of him! But where is he? Isn't he the real threat to the nation's terrorism problem? Instead, someone got all high and mighty and decided that we needed to fight a war that they believed that we could win. Iraq. But we cannot possibly win this war...because it is NOT a war. It is a one-sided blind attack on a country. Yes, I'm sure that Sadaam Hussein is a bad man. A veerrryyy bad man. Who likes Doritos...LOL.

Oh yes...WMD...what ever happened to them? Did we forget that part?

Speaking of Oxymorons...

To quote Dubya: ..."I'm interested in finding somebody who shares my philosophy today and will have that same philosophy 20 years from now." Hmmm...I wasn't sure that he actually had a philosophy. Seriously though...if you are not aware, he is speaking of his nominee to fill O'Connor's vacancy on the Supreme Court, Harriet Miers. He is being accused of discussing the abortion issue with her.

Which brings me to this point. The history of politics when referring to Abortion. We all know that this is a horribly old issue. At least 175 years old, to be exact. Before that time, the American Government couldn’t give a shit about abortion. In fact, one might hear about abortion services like we hear about fast food restaurants. Then there was some debating about the health issues of abortion amongst the medical communities, and roughly about 20 out of the 33 states in the union had it banned by the year 1860.

But it actually took another 100 years for abortion to become a political issue in the united states. In the 1960’s, pro-choice advocates pushed for legalization of abortion in certain circumstances. On November 3, 1970, voters of Washington State liberalized the state abortion statue by passing Referendum 20 by a 56.6% majority. The law allowed women and their doctors to decide whether or not to terminate a pregnancy. It stipulated that abortions must be performed in a hospital or other approved facility and that it must be done during the first four lunar months after conception. It also stipulated that the woman must have consent of a parent or guardian if she was under 18 and consent of her husband if she was currently living with him. She must have been a resident of the state for at least 90 days. On January 22, 1973, the Supreme Court handed down the ruling on Roe v. Wade. That ruling lifted many of the restrictions on abortion in Washington. Now, a woman could have an abortion through the 24th week of pregnancy; there wasn't a residency requirement. It also stated that a facility that had "such legal/medical controls as would be protective of her health" could perform abortions during the first trimester. Roe v. Wade did not address the issues of spousal or parental consent, but by the mid-70's the Washington State Supreme Court and the U.S. Supreme Court handed down decisions that freed a minor from parental consent and a wife from a husband's consent.

Conservative groups saw an opportunity to increase their strength by exploiting the abortion issue. The founders of the New Right, in an effort to gain more supporters, turned to the evangelical and fundamentalist churches. They sent mail encouraging support for their cause, using the Supreme Court's recent decisions on abortion rights and the removal of prayer in public schools as the motivating factor. They asked church members to give money and to become politically active. The money began to pour in. These conservative groups had their origins in the Barry Goldwater campaign for the presidency in 1964. Among Goldwater's supporters were a core group of individuals who believed that there was a movement called "secular humanism" that was steering our country away from a "God-centered society" towards atheistic socialism. These supporters founded a variety of groups formed to fight communism, civil rights, feminism and other political and social reform movements of the sixties. During the 70's and 80's the social reforms continued and with them, growing opposition in the form of right-wing organizations promoting "family values." After Roe v. Wade, abortion became a major focus of many of these groups. In addition to the controversial substance of the decision, it was also proof of a Supreme Court out of control (in their view), making law instead of interpreting it.Copying the strategy of the civil rights and antiwar movements, the New Right turned to the churches. They developed committed supporters. The leaders in this movement began strategizing about ways to empower themselves. They knew that to achieve their goals, they would have to have influence over the political arena. They wrote manuals for their followers teaching them how to get elected to office. They worked together, often serving as advisors on each others boards. Television soon became the preferred method of reaching the masses. Televangelists seemed to spring up everywhere: Jimmy Swaggart, Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, Oral Roberts and Jerry Falwell reached millions of viewers each week. The leaders of the New Right met with Jerry Falwell and asked him to head a religious right political organization that would put pressure on Reagan and other elected officials to conform to their views regarding abortion, gays and lesbians, sex education, school prayer, teaching creationism, separation of church and state and other issues. That was the beginning of the Moral Majority, which supported Reagan and Bush in the 1980 presidential election. They also supported many candidates for Congress who subscribed to their views. They tried to hinder the campaigns of candidates who were pro-abortion or disagreed with their overall philosophy. The Moral Majority had organizations in every state, and claimed credit for helping to elect Republican right-wing candidates.Reagan appointed several of the religious right activists to federal positions but largely ignored the social issues that motivated them, one of the most important issues being abortion. Some believe that this is what gave rise to the militant antiabortion groups that emerged during the mid and late 80's, such as Operation Rescue, started in 1987 by Terry Randall. The job of legislators has been described as being political as well as law- and policy-making. State and Local Politics states that "the primary job is to defuse these pressures [of competing interest groups] so that the political system can function intact without blowing wide apart." An argument can be made that the Reagan administration failed to defuse the anti-abortionists and, by ignoring them, effectively fueled their fire.Washington has been a victim of the violence that antiabortion protesters have demonstrated all over the country. For example, the Feminist Women's Health Center opened a clinic in Everett in 1983. They were greeted with a barrage of harassment, hate mail and personal threats. They were bombarded with phone calls to jam the phone lines and disturbed by as much noise as the protesters outside could make, all in an effort to close them down. The first fire bombing came shortly after they opened their doors. Before they were closed for good, less than a year after they opened, they were fire-bombed twice more. Although some of the leaders of the anti-choice movement denounced these actions, others thought they were justified.With the Reagan administration focusing on foreign policy and economic issues, the religious right became frustrated. In addition they had a number of setbacks when three initiatives to restrict abortion failed in Washington in the mid to late 80's, with two not even reaching the ballot. The antiabortion cause was waning. They stepped back and refocused on the local level. They began going after state and local offices -- including local Republican Party organizations. They had long since given up on starting their own political party. Taking control of the Republican Party was the best political move they could make. This was the beginning of the fight for the Republican Party in Washington State. The earliest success came with the Pat Robertson campaign for the presidency in 1988. Pat Robertson was one of the early televangelists, and is the founder of The 700 Club. He used his show to introduce politics and politicians to his viewers and to encourage them to become politically active. During Pat Robertson's bid for the Presidency in 1988, he carried Washington state in the primary caucuses which was a large contrast to both the rest of the country and polls of Republican voters within the state. This demonstrated the vulnerability of the caucus system to takeover by small but committed groups. With the ease of contacting and staying in touch with their constituency through weekly church attendance and his television programs, Robertson's supporters were able to organize a large attendance at the caucuses, voting for Robertson's delegates. Since state presidential caucuses generally have a sparse turnout, even a small group, if it fully attends, can have a powerful impact on the results of the caucus. This could be one of the reasons that the state has moved to a presidential primary to either replace or supplement the caucuses.

This is a small bit of information just to prove my original thought before I got all misconstrued by factual information. I find it hard to believe that George Jr. would pick someone that he knew was pro-abortion. We know that he has brought “Jesus back to the White House”, according to the Christian Collation.
Why do we allow people to force issues down our throats such as abortion and gay marriage? My thoughts about abortion are plain & simple. A man shouldn’t decide them. Any man. It should be purely a woman’s decision. And leave it at that. Nothing else. So shoot me, I was raised Catholic, and I’m pro-choice. Who would have thought?

Liar, Liar...Pants on Fire

OK – So I Lied.

When I first moved back to Springfield, my goals were these:

Work on schooling
Find a job
Find a car
Find KIMBERLY HEPWORTH again

The last thing that was on my mind was finding a partner…Boyfriend, lover, whatever. That was something that I really thought that I didn’t want. I wanted to be single, as I honestly have been since January of this year.

Much less would I have thought that I would have “found” someone in fucking Arkansas, to add the icing on the cake.

I was a firm believer that long-distance relationships do not, and cannot work. I tried one quite awhile ago, and it was horrible. But maybe that was because of the person that I was involved with.

This certain person that I am currently in a relationship with is simply amazing. I’ve known him for 5 years, and he’s been semi-pursuing me for that long. But, me not being in the right state of mind during those times, how could I even contemplate even speaking with him in a romantic fashion? And how can I possibly want to pursue a relationship with someone in Arkansas? I just moved from there.

Then I let him in. Damn it. I fell hard and fast. Turns out he was correct the whole time. Have you ever spoken with someone that shares your ideas on every single subject? He's an artist, and a fantastic writer. And he reads (LOL-oxymoron - from Arkansas & reads). Same tastes in music, movies. AND he used to do theater years ago. He is very easy on the eyes, as well. But put all of that bullshit aside. He makes me feel as if I am the most beautiful, talented, and intelligent woman on the planet; puts up with my drama queen attitude (I know you all are SHOCKED to hear that I have one!); and most of all, he loves me. How could I not pursue this? He is simply amazing.

So that’s just a little insight as to what is going on right now. No, I’m not moving back to Arkansas. We’ll just see what happens.

Emotional Control or Lack There Of

Okay, as women we know there comes a time right before THAT time of the month where we want to kill our own emotions, called PMS.

Why do some of us go off the deep end during this time of the month? I cannot explain it. All I can say is that to those who I've hurt, or gone off on during these times, I am truly very sorry. Case in point. A guy I am semi-dating, tonight he told me to call him back at 10:00 because he was going to watch a program on television. Cool, right? Well, any other time I would have been. This certain time, I felt my face get hot, my heart plumment into my feet, and it felt as if he had kicked me in the chest. So I felt it best to cut it short, since I didn't want to take him down the road of insane emotions. Better to hold it in, right? Hell, why do you think I am blogging now? Should I have held it in? Or should I have went nuts on him? I knew at the time that I should not have been so stupid. It's a television program, right? It's not like this person & I never talk - we spend at least 7 hours a day talking to one another. What the fuck is wrong with my brain today? I felt as if he was saying "Fuck you, this program is so much more interesting than you are". But he wasn't. *Sigh*

I'm nuts during this time, and for that I sincerely apologize. I hope that you can forgive me.