Not as bad as I thought it would be. I'm slowly getting into the "Job Interviewing" thing. Had a couple - have gone really well. I've decided to be upfront with prospective employers about my health status - and I have found that their jaws drop...the response is always the same "You look so healthy". Now in all my years of perfecting singing & acting, there has never been a better compliment to me than that. So perhaps my outlook on life because of Cancer is totally changing - for the better!
I got my Stella Kitty back...she is deliriously happy to be back with Mommy (she's the best kisser in the world):
She has been a source of joy & healing for me. I didn't realize how much I've missed her. She's like my "Kid" that I never have been able to have.
As a part of the job hunting thing, I have perfected my Wig...I think. I've gotten it to look like "me"...and very professional looking:
It feels so funny to look in the mirror and see me with "hair"...since losing it, I've gone with the hats/bandanas, and it really does wonders for my self-esteem to put on make-up, and really feel like "me" again, and not "Cancer Girl". I went through a stage where I believed that nobody would want to date me, because of my health status, and lack of hair...but I'm starting to get back to the real me, who knows that I'm semi-attractive, and that someone will care/love me again from the inside-out. See...I'm not that bad looking...even WITHOUT hair:
I've started working on a few shows...behind-the-scenes, of course...just to try & prove to people that I'm up to it. It's great to be social again. And the shows are really cool, and the people are amazing to work with.
So hopefully by my next posting, I will have a job...and maybe be doing some stuff on-stage. I sang for the first time publicly (sans Karaoke...which doesn't count), to great feedback. So maybe I'll get back into the swing of things...and hopefully find a good voice teacher to help me with some of the notes that I've lost due to Chemo (it affected my vocal chords a bit). But I've found that since the Cancer, that I've been putting more emphasis on the lyrics than sounding "perfect" (well, as perfect as I can). So many vocal teachers & directors (well, one inparticular, whom I greatly respect) have been trying to tell me that it isn't about sounding perfect...but to "feel" the song (and not put my hands on my hips!)...and I've finally gotten it. Shit, I wish I would have realized this before putting my body through hell!
To sum it up, I'm doing pretty well. Getting better by the day. Still really tired all of the time, but that too is getting better.
Besos,
Kimmy
3 comments:
Kim
I feel honored to be the first to leave you a comment on this posr. First and foremost you are and always have been a very beautiful person inside and out. I am not just saying that to be kind, but I remember back when we were younger and in school there were days that I was at the lowest point and to hear you sing or just lasugh would brighten my day as well as all those around us. I thank you for that. Secondly as a woman to have followed your story online from Illinois and watch you never once bitch or moan or whoa is me throughout your entire illness was at times breathtaking to be able to read your wit and wisdom on a mostly daily basis.I feel blessed to have counted you as a true friend in school and now I feel blessed to know that an awesome person that I know has fought so valently(sp) and beaten the bastard we all call Cancer. You are a true inspiration to all of us who want to bitch and complain about the little things in life it is you and your courage that give me strength to go on to tackle the hard stuff.
Kim you are truely an inspiration and you will soon reap the rewards for all the joy and sunshine you have given to us all. I know soon you will have that awesome job and a man who is lucky to have you as his and to be treated like a queen you should be.
Kim thanks for being you.
Suzie Cundiff
Kim,
I am pretty sure that Suzie has said it. I follow your story from Wisconsin and I know that I look at you as someone to be truely greatful to have know in a past life (so it seams). I have shared your music and your story with my son and daughter as well as my husband. I love to hear you sing and to watch you in the skits you have posted. Thank you for being as strong of a women as you are. Keep your positive attitude and you will go where ever you want to.
With all my best wishes!
Nancy (Jack) Grunenwald
Kim- I am so glad to have found your blog. You are so strong and such an inspiration. I'll be following you.
Shaylea
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