I Already Did That!

Ok, so I backslid.

I said I never would audition for THAT director's shows again. He asked. I did.

The same shit happened.

Since Sunday, I've been going over & over in my mind...what exactly happened. What did I do wrong at auditions.

Not a FUCKING thing. I sang "Stars and the Moon" from "Songs for a New World" by Jason Robert Brown, and even though the pianist sucked, I think I did one of my better auditions. I didn't oversing. I didn't really belt at all. So, I felt comfortable. I just SANG.

Sooo...I didn't get a callback.

Wait...it gets better.

15 women DID get a callback. Yep. FIFTEEN. Including a woman who makes a foghorn sound pretty. So, basically I knew that I was being fucked again by this same man. Which might be enjoyable...if...(insert your pun here)

But wait again...there's more to this story. The woman with the BEST voice in town auditions. Gets called back. Gets asked to stay. Is told she wasn't cast because he's casting a guy for the role. Ok, whatever. The next day, he makes calls for more people to audition for the show.

Waaaiiittt a minute here...isn't the protocol for Community Theater to have audtions, callbacks...then cast the show. But I guess when you are the artistic director you can have auditions, callbacks, then call people to audition again...even though you had at least SIX people who could have done that role.

So, he casts the GIRL he called to audition. Whhhaaat? I won't comment on HER voice. But let's just say...nails...chalkboard.

So, I'm stewing. Pissed. Mad. Should I email this director? Should I call him and cry, and let him know how much he hurt me by doing this?

So, I am flipping through "The View" this morning, and saw that Beverly Sills was the guest co-host. Could be interesting. So, she is telling this story on how she retired from opera, and went on to run the City Opera for 10 years. At the end of her 10 years there, her husband said "You already did that", and handed her a ring with "I already did that" inscribed on it.

He was not telling her NOT to do said thing again, but rather it was a reminder to herself that she DIDN'T have to do it again.

So when it comes to said director...I Already Did That. When it comes to the show "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"...I Already Did That. And extremely well.

Gotta Love Infertility

Ok...so for the past 6 months or so, I've been in a funk that I couldn't explain. I really don't want to socialize. If Michael didn't live with me, I would probably not even want to see him. I couldn't put my finger on it.

I was going through mood swings & depression like I've never done before. Which is odd...really odd. Usually, the "once a month" thing is enough...but...well...since I hadn't had a "once a month" thing for about 6 months, I couldn't blame my craziness on that.

Then I remembered. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Basically, I'm infertile until I "want" to conceive. LOL. The "want" to conceive is wacked out, because let's say I want to have a child. I will have to do this to have my own baby:

1. Go on progestin & estrogen birth control pills for a year. Fun times. Especially since I have breast cancer on both sides of my family; it'll make it fun.

2. So if I don't go on the BC pills, I will have to get synthetic progestin. Shots. Fun times. I think that's actually worse than the pill.

3. Spironolactone. In layman's terms, a diuretic. Since the symptoms of PCOS is acne, hair loss, and "male pattern hair growth" (hair on face and toes...which unfortunately I have), this helps these symptoms. Basically, I have too much testosterone in my body.

4. If I come up with diabetic stuff (which I haven't), then they'll have to treat that.

5. Fertility medicines. Yay!!! Michael & I could have our own football team - with one pregnancy.

6. And if all of this doesn't work - then it's (cue "happenin'" music) LAPROSCOPIC OVARIAN DRILLING. Yeah, it's as scary as it sounds. Basically, they either destroy or remove an ovary in hopes of stimulating the other. Ugh.

As crappy as this sounds...ya know...PCOS is the best birth control ever!!!

But...I'm scared that one of the cysts have actually burst, which could mean a huge mess. Sigh.

Well, we'll see.

Death, Dying...and Yet Death Again

What a wild couple of months.

My grandmother passed in March, my dear friends Lamon White and Nathan Cooke, and my great-uncle Jimmy Gene and great-great aunt Katie all in June.

I believe honestly that greif is very self-centered. I can guarantee you that nobody wherever they wind up when they pass is grieving...they are celebrating...especially my dear, darling friend Nathan, who had been suffering for a little under a year.

So...if you've been wondering what I've been up to...it's funeral month. And another one tomorrow. Craziness ensues.

This Struck Me as Funny...

I'm working this crazy job with crazy hours at the hospital, since I'm not doing any performing currently (3:30 pm-12am).

So this girl I work with comes in all pissed off. "God DAMN it...they won't let me leave early".

I'm curious...they seemed really flexible with the hours.

So, me being the drama queen that I am, ask her "Well what did you tell them?". "The truth", she starts ranting "I need to pick my baby's daddy up from the bus station."

Reasonable. Or not?

"...he just got out of prison."

It gets better.

"I'll bet if he was just coming back from Kuwait they wouldn't have a problem".

Hmmm...Kuwait...Prison...draw your own conclusions.

Jeepers Creepers Semi Star

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=591999137&n=2

Oops...late...I know

Putting Things Into Perspective

So I survived F2 Squared - that is, two F2 Tornadoes swept through central Illinois Sunday night and early Monday morning. Wow. Talk about not giving a flip whether I was cast at Muni or not (FYI I was NOT cast in anything). Thank God my family and Michael and I escaped with minimal damage.

On Monday or Tuesday afternoon, my parents noticed that the police were knocking on their neighbor's door - my mom told my dad to tell them that they were at work. The officer said "Actually, we're looking for Georgia Hepworth". Turns out that my Grandma Sunny, who lives in Evergreen, Colorado...who is the matriarch of our family...had fallen while in the shower and had lost consciousness for a day or so, and her manager at her condo complex found her.

Her friends in Colorado had been trying to contact my mom, since we are her only immediate family left, and their phone lines were down (actually, they were just restored today), so her friend contacted the Springfield Police department, and they let them know that we had really bad storms here, and that they would come and look for her. And they did - thank God.

So we didn't think that anything was really wrong. Since my folks' neighborhood was really badly hit, I told them that I would house-sit and take care of the dogs & cats. Fun times.

So I called her last night, to make sure my dad had given me correct directons for the medications that one of her dogs is taking (of course it was wrong!), and she said that Sunny was really bad off. Big red flags went off in my head. Said she was septic, and on 4 different antibiotics, and that none were responding, and that her WBC's were sky-high. Hmmm. Let me explain, Sunny's 83. She has had a knee replacement, and 2 hip replacements. But that's it. No other health problems EVER. The most independent woman in the world...she drove a STICK shift twice a year from Colorado to Illinois...to visit her family. So I figured "Crazy Grandma Sunny" would pull through - hell...she'll be around to outlive all of us. The doctors would find the right antibiotic, and mom & dad would be back in a couple of weeks. Life as normal.

Michael went to a job interview this morning - came home very melancholy. I figured the interview had went horribly awry. He said it went OK...said he talked to my brother-in-law, Dale, who works for this company. Grandma Sunny died this morning around 6:00 am.

Losing a Grandparent is nothing new to me. I lost my grandfather in 2004. Her husband died 9 years ago. But this has hit me like a ton of bricks. My mother's family is gone. I lost someone who loved me just as much as my own mother does. Katie and I would go stay with her for 6 weeks each and every summer as we were growing up. We were her only grandchildren - and she was a beautiful, wonderful woman.

God, this is hard. God, do I miss her.

Waiting...and Waiting

I auditioned last Saturday for Muni. Fun times.

Now the waiting process begins. No callbacks as of yet. But then again, I've not heard too much. Nobody's talking. Weird.

So drinking must occur this Monday night.

Life or Something Like It

Ok...so many subjects...so little freaking time.

It's been a month of co-habitating with Michael...and he hasn't killed me yet. That's a huge plus. I must have some sort of hold on him - he's auditioning for the Muni with me on Sunday. This is a double edged sword, I know. I'm elated that he's interested in what I am...yet...he's a man. Without uncertainty...he will be cast. Me...not so much certainty. This isn't a scientific quote...but I think the ratio to men vs. women auditioning is about 1:10. Draw your own conclusions. But hell, I feel the same way about my dad. Love, love, love him - but he's talented. There ya go.

I am also doing a 360 with my audition song. I've changed it at least 10 times in the past 2 months. First, it was a sappy ass love song. Then, it was a sappier love song. It wound up going to a belting bitch song...then I decided to stop all of this procrastinating. They're doing Chicago and I have been singing "When You're Good to Mama" for the past 4 years while in Little Rock. My problem is...that the rumor mill has been going nutso. I heard that someone was pre-cast for the role of Mama Morton. When asking people who kind of know what they're doing - they said to audition for Mama. I was stuck. First, my best friend in the entire world is auditioning for that role. Hmmm. Second, I'm wayyyy too young. Third, what makes me thing that I'm so fucking good that I could actually stand a chance? Then I woke up. This is freaking COMMUNITY THEATER. Also, I really dig this role. As sparse as Chicago is done in Community Theaters nowdays...who is to say when I will get the chance to audition for this show again? And if I was in Little Rock...would I let this keep me down? Hell, no. I would go in there all ballsy and kick some ass. So there it is.

Healthwise - I suck. Cellulitis is NOT my friend. I've been laid up here in this damn house. Unable to go to rehearsal. Craziness.

But hey - I blogged for the 1st time in eons...I'm proud of me ;)

"It's Roller Derby Now"

Survival of the...Prettiest

So I survived. And I only got bitch-slapped once by the director. It was great!!!

Seriously, though - it wound up to be a stellar show, with a little added skin at the last performance (email me for details) - and no, it wasn't by me.

Now I'll be playing the Queen of Hearts in a musical adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland". Groovy - or not. Let's see if I still like Children's Theater.

I was so bored today at work that I pulled off all of my fake fingernails from the show. Ouch. Blood. It was amazingly painful.

My mind is on overdrive still. Forgive me if I'm making absolutely no sense whatsoever. But then again - I'm a Hepworth.

Michael is moving here in 2 weeks. Yay!! Let's hope I get this apartment.

I got my settlement check from accident #2 in the mail today. Double yay!!! I'm goin' drankin, bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Review of Whorehouse

"Head on Down to Best Little Whorehouse"
by Nick Rogers

Those who like their musicals on top will find plenty to whoop about in the Springfield Theatre Centre's production of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas".

Director Bill Bauser Jr.'s fast-paced show has a heart as big as its production numbers and larger-than-life characters. It's equally good at comic exaggeration and heartbreaking realism.

The quirky charm is turned on early in this tale of the Chicken Ranch, where, as it's said, guests enjoy a small thrill from time to time, but there's nothing dirty going on. Doubling as bandleader and narrator, Mary Myers opens the show with a thick-twanged delivery of the bordello's history.

As ts most recent manager, Miss Mona Stangley, Lori Ann Fahnders combines tender, matronly affection for her girls, her own vulnerability and a distinct my-way-or-the-highway attitude. "Don't let your mouth overlad your capabilities" is one of many gems in a script referring to women't periods as "the curse"and dubbing the Ranch a place where history and football players get made.

Mona's soft spot has to do with the protection she gets from well-meaning, ill-tempered Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd (Rich McCoy), whom she's long loved in secret. McCoy is alternately hangdog and hyper and convincing as both, especially when getting Yosemite Sam-style mad and cursing a blue streat at Melvin P. Thorpe (Michael Murphy), a moralist crusader trying to shut the Ranch down.

Only a missing bag of confetti doesn't scream Rip Taylor about Murphy's hilarious work. Wearing a flourescent-green suit even Prince would reject, Murphy saved one big band-chorus tempo discrepancy Friday night just with weird dancing.

The show is filled with even more colorful characters, all wonderfully played. As Jewel, Miss Mona's sassy right-hand woman, Kim Hepworth brings down the house with "24 Hours of Lovin'". Steve Williams disappears into four characters, most memorably insurance salesman C.J. Scruggs, for whom the word "sheriff" becomes "Sher-rough" in his Forrest Gump-style mouth. In a moment that slows down to focus on the Ranch's importance to Gilbert, Texas, Laurie McCoy sings a wistful ballad.

Even the least-characterized ladies of the Chicken Ranch get a moment to shine in the great "Hard Candy Christmas". The same goes for the male ensemble, whether they're acting as horny college football players or right-wing conservatives.

Behind-the-scenes work is also exceptional with Elizabeth Cheney's cute but complicated choreography, T. David Parker's clean set design, and costumes - or the occasional lack thereof - from Phyllis Maynerich and Suellen Troxell.

It's the Day of the Show, Y'all

Ok...so this is a mini-post...I'm horribly nervous about the opening of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" tonight at Springfield Theatre Centre. Anyone who can offer any advice, please let me know.

Last night, Dr. Zoom (http://drastrozoom.blogspot.com) and Mrs. Zoom did a great job of calming my nerves - so I think it'll all be kosher. It's just like it's my re-debut in Springfield, and we all know how catty thespians can be :)


You're Captain Tenneal! GET IT ON! You are a person
who has a nack for the opposite sex, and you
don't mind telling people when they're wrong
and you're right.


Which MXC Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Post coming later...I promise...

http://springfieldtheater.com/littlehouse.wmv

Shameless Plug...

The Springfield Theatre Centre kicks off 2006 with the award-winning true story
about hypocritical politicians, half-naked showgirls, and governors who rule by public opinion.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is based on the true story of a legendary Texas Brothel known as the Chicken Ranch, which operated from the 1840's to 1973 when it was finally shut down by the efforts of a crusading Houston radio commentator and his conservative audience.

The musical, the book by Larry L. King & Peter Masterson, and Lyrics and Music by Carol Hall, begins during the last days of the Chicken Ranch (which earned its name because, during the depression, customers were allowed to pay with poultry!). Melvin P. Thorpe (played by Michael Murphy), a television broadcaster eager for the spotlight, has just scored a career triumph by exposing a peanut bar for not having as many peanuts as advertised. And now he turns his attention to what is potentially a much bigger triumph - this appalling thing he calls "loveless copulation" at the Chicken Ranch. Although many of the state's politicians have, in fact, been customers of the brothel, they are eager to preserve their political careers and thus choose to publicly denounce the Chicken Ranch and its inhabitants.

Finally, in spite of the protection of the local sheriff (played by Rich McCoy), Miss Mona (played by Lori Ann Fahnders), the proprietress of the Chicken Ranch, is thrown out onto the street along with all of her girls (played by Stephanie Berch, Fran Byers, Shirene Thomas, Lisa Mayes, Ashley Warren, Amy Heuman, Grace Gietl, Nickel Hayes, Cari Keysar, and Emma Jo Schumacher), even as Melvin P. Thorpe receives a commendation from the Governor (played by Steve Williams) for his services to the state of Texas.

Also starring are Kim Hepworth as Jewel, Mary E. Myers as the Bandleader, Laurie McCoy as Doatsey Mae, and John Woodruff as Senator Wingwoah.

Rounding out the cast are Tony Cunningham, Brad Lowman, Nathan Alderman, Jacob House, Mike Martin, Craig Williams, Phillip “Teddy” Paschal, DJ Rudd, and Tom Beeve.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is directed by STC’s Interim Artistic Director, Bill Bauser, Jr., who brought to the Springfield Theater stage the immensely popular Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and will be directing The King and I this summer at Springfield Muni Opera.

Production dates are January 13-15, and 20-22, 2006. Friday and Saturday shows are at 8:00 P.M., and Sunday matinees are at 2:00 P.M. All shows are performed at the Hoogland Center for the Arts, located at 420 South Sixth Street, in downtown Springfield. Ticket prices are $11.75, and $10.75, and may be reserved by calling 217-523-ARTS (2787)